Of Course You Realize...

Hmm. I've had nothing to blog about since Sunday, and yet I am compelled to post something. Well, this is or at least would have been Armageddon Wednesday (I'll admit I got bored with that). And I have been back into the Marx Brothers again. I guess that can only mean one thing -




It's time for DUCK SOUP! You know, 'cause it's about war and stuff. Hail, hail Freedonia.... Well, just go watch it again if you haven't for a while. Watch it again... for the very first time!!!

If you think this post is nonsense, just wait until my comic tomorrow.

Arthur C. Armageddon

Great book. Amazing book. Blew my mind when I read it ten years ago. What's it about? Who knows. The only thing I can remember is at the end the last man on Earth has some sorta existential dilemma. Or not. Wikipedia would know. But it has aliens, and not to ruin it, but the Earth goes bye-bye. Armageddon Wednesday in a nutshell.

Fighting in the War Room

... or why I stopped caring about the bomb and simply obsess about film. This Armageddon Wednesday features Peter Sellers as the President...




... Captain Mandrake (who would be my favorite character in the film, if not for practically every other character in the film)...




... and Dr. Strangelove. If the world is going to blow up, I'd rather have Sellers lead the way. He may have been crazy in real life, but you gotta be a little crazy to work in this place.




And from the "Well-Known Factoid to Many People, Obscure Factoid to Most" department, Sellers was originally cast in the Slim Pickens role, but evidently four roles in one film was too much of a strain. Oh, come on Peter, suck it up. Actually, it's hard to picture the role without Pickens.

There, it was inevitable that we get to Dr. Strangelove some Wednesday. Maybe next week we'll have more Cold War shenanigans.

The Way It Ends According To Me

This blog has been too wordy lately. It must be time for Armageddon Wednesday...



See, here's how it'll all pan out. First, Ray Harryhausen will send his flying saucers...




Civilians will look on in boredom and indifference. They'll develop a casual acceptance of their fate...




Then the aliens show up. They sound amazingly like Paul Frees, which does not in any way detract from their overall phallus-ness...




But Salvador Dali is not amused...




So then more Saucers show up...!




And GROUCHO...!




And THESE GUYS...!




And everyone yells, "BLOW, GERRY, BLOW!" BUT...




IT'S TOO LATE!!!!! The world explodes in a beautiful technicolor dream! "We'll... meet again... Don't know where... Don't know wheennnnnn...."

Well, that's the way I would want it to end. Wouldn't you?

Not Really Armageddon Wednesday

Say, it's Chicken Little from Disney's 1943 short, Chicken Little. It obviously has less to do with the end of the world and more with Nazism (or generally, as in the fable, manipulation and hysteria).



Foxy Loxy, while shown to be reading a book labeled "Psychology" to facilitate the spread of fear and chaos, actually recites passages from Mein Kampf. I presume the original story ends happily for the chickens, but in accordance with the symbolism, the cartoon ends with rows of wishbones and a happily engorged Foxy. "Don't believe everything you read, brudder."


Incidentally, try image searching Chicken Little these days and you come up with thousands of pictures of this poor dope:

"What the hell am I? Why do I look like McKimson's Junior???"

Old argument, but I had to bring it up.

As a final note, although contrary to what happens in the 1943 short, I'd like to think that Ducky Lucky and the booze crew would remain perfectly complacent as the sky falls.


"We were sailin' aloooongg... on Moonlight Baaaaaaay (hic!)"


*Update*

I just read the wiki article on the original fable. Many different endings, all relavent. Check it out.

Happy Independence Day!

Welcome to a special 4th of July edition of Armageddon Wednesday, in which we discuss the tiny little firecracker with the power to blow up the Earth, the Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator, not to be confused with the now defunct Uranium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator, or the completely nonexistent Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator. Now, it's important that on this day of celebration we do not inadvertently destroy the planet, so please, do not light off an Illudium PU-36. If you are having trouble differentiating between the Illudium and your average firecracker, look for the following directions - "Place on flat surface, light wick, and get 35 million miles away." Simply place the Modulator in your pocket, and light yourself a sparkler. We'll all be much happier.

Another Armageddon Wednesday

Why? Why not? Here's a still of Bert the Turtle from the educational film Duck and Cover, produced in 1950. I haven't seen it for a while, so I don't know if the monkey with the firecracker is supposed to represent nuclear holocaust or what, but it's a damn fine allusion.



"That way, colliding particles of hydrogen won't bonk you on the head."

Armageddon Wednesday

Just thought I'd take this time to point out that my local post office also happens to be my local fallout shelter. I'm not sure anyone but me has really taken the time to acknowledge that. Are all the old granite-walled post offices designated as such? If so, rest assured that after the bombs fall postal workers will rule the world! Imagine, a whole planet of people ruining my mail. The whistling alone would be deafening.